Our energy is a valuable resource that can be zapped away if we don’t manage and take steps to fill our energy back up. As a Mom of a toddler who has recently gone back to work I am feeling the energy drain because many people are requiring my time and energy. I had to take control back because I can’t be tried for myself or my daughter. For energy to be filled up you need to do activities that bring you joy, release emotions and help manage stress. You also need to do something that is out of your normal routine, an adventure it reboots your mind and it’s something to look forward to which is always an energy pick me up.
My recharge helps me thrive instead of just survive. So, I do that by releasing my emotions while running and hiking. These activities also allow me to tap into my creativity and ideas flow. My joy is ignited by creating whether I’m rearranging my space, decorating a room or collecting flowers for a boutique. This brings my joy to the surface. Lastly, stress management this is a huge energy drain and one we can’t avoid. I recently learned about adaptogens which are herbal medicines that help your body adapt to stress. I have been doing two tinctures one is Rhodiola great for energy and stamina and the other is ashwagandha is great for increasing stamina, memory and relieving stress and anxiety.
These last few months have been stressful and filled with change. My partner and I have chosen to go our separate ways. I’m currently living with my parents. I’m now a single mom trying to navigate that without a community.
I feel I was able to cope with the transition as I had to pack, reserve a U-haul, clean, so there wasn’t time to process this emotionally. However, it has been a month and these emotions have been coming up in waves. I find myself trying to stay busy by doing all these outside tasks which is draining my energy. I apply for jobs, started a running group, DIY projects etc. I’m running from what I know I need to deal with. If I really sit down and listen to my body I can feel the tension, exhaustion and anxiety that is wrecking havoc on me. I was reminded today by my sister that we need to slow down and allow space to process all this changes. In a way I am grieving the life that I thought I was going to have and I need to allow that to flow through me in order to heal. So, how am I going to slow down and ride the transition.
I’m going to listen to my body and my gut.
I’m going to sit in moments of discomfort and breath. If I feel it get stuck I will move through a yoga sequence to shift the stagnation.
The more we honor and listen to our bodies the better we can serve ourselves what we really need in these moments of unease and change.
As a new mom there are so many transitions and learning curves, at times it feels as though you’ll never fully have a handle on this. Yet there are moments of yes I got this! I think that finding space to be gracious with ourselves is key to finding some peace in this motherhood journey. As a new mom your feelings and emotions are all new and overwhelming at times. We find comfort in reading the milestones at 6 weeks you’ll be able to start exercise and at 3 months your baby will begin to develop a schedule. I say take these with a grain of salt, allow yourself to slowdown, be gracious and loving to yourself during this time because birth and motherhood are a personal journey. When we start to measure and compare we lose sight of tending to our selves and baby. Your body has been through an amazing event and opened up a new part of yourself, so allow yourself to melt into this amazingly, exhausting and joyous time.
What feels good in me reclaiming back some of myself?
What rituals make me feel whole? (these can be breathing, slow walks, sipping tea)
What foods nourish my body and mind? (soups, bone broth)
Also, remember you have nurtured and grew a human life that enough is amazing! So know it will take time to fully feel like you again, but enjoy the learning and growth happening. Be gracious to yourself.
Lately in my life there has been such a feeling of constraint. I’ve been pushing through getting tasks done with speed. My mind races with cynical thoughts. The energy force in my body rages in discomfort. These are all signs that I am pushing in a robotic manner and listen to my needs or what feels good. Yes, we all have days where things need to get done. However it doesn’t need to deplete your energy source. So, once I became aware I realized I needed to revisit the rituals that brought me inner stillness, and feed my sense of worth. Here are a few rituals I have started doing again when I feel my body raging, my cynical mind has ignited.
I am a mom to a 16 month old and know that life is full so these rituals can be as short or as long as needed. Yet, I also know that taking time for myself is essential or the beast is unleashed.
Clay mask for 5 to 10 minutes.
Cup of coffee and a fiction read (currently reading Behold the Dreamers).
When running errands I treat myself to a cup of tea, coffee at a drive-thru.
Early morning hikes with my toddler
Runs to release energy.
5 to 10 minutes of yoga,
5 to 10 minutes breathing meditation.
For me these rituals release and ground me into myself. There a reminder that I’m worthy.
I’m reading this book about a woman experiencing a midlife shift and it made me think about the shifts we go through in our lives. It doesn’t just have to be midlife.
My big shift was giving birth to my daughter. While I was pregnant it was a wonderful time of creating and preparing both physically and mentally. I felt prepared and ready for the arrival of my daughter. It is the after birth that I was raw, emotional and vulnerable. This is where I began to experience the shift. It was slow and emotional with many questions and doubts. The person I was before has changed. The things I desired in my career have shifted, the life I want has shifted. I’m asking myself bigger life questions. While raising a baby as a new mom this shift has me navigating the new me. The exhaustion can over take you and days blur into one. It feels as though you haven’t done anything yet you have given life to this precious soul. This shift requires me to slow down and sink into the stillness that is required at this moment. Becoming a mother is really a course in being mindful.
I want that space, the solid foundation of knowing the woman. I want to slowdown and really get to know the true self the woman that resides within, the fearful, yet fierce, strong, sensitive, angered, creative, expressive, too much, too deep, too quiet all these labels, must be released and the real woman that resides within must be invited out because the world needs her and she needs to know the real woman.
The beauty of self discovery and reflection is becoming aware of our negative mental chatter. The importance we’ve put on society and how we are viewed. These tend to create a life that is close to the surface and an existence that doesn’t fulfill the deeper human feelings. Discovering rituals, or practices that invite you to do the deeper work ignites the true woman that resides within.
This has been a question I’m asking myself, what is a nourishing act that I can do on a daily basis that builds up myself worth and increases my energy flow. I ask this because my daughters father has left to go visit family in Zambia for a month, and I stayed home. So, in order for me to stay filled up I need to explore what nourishing acts I need to do. The word nourishment feels soft, fulfilling, energy giving and comforting. These small acts of nourishment wrap me in a soft warm blanket that allow me to surrender myself to be feed. As a woman I get caught up in the doing of things that deplete me.
So, I have created mini spaces within my home that hold space for these nourishing acts to happen. I need to create these spaces as a way to get out of my routine and mind. This also makes me be more successful and committed. I have also made a calendar of which days I do certain routines. I know this may seem a little much but I am a visual person and like to cross things off it increases my self confidence that I am sticking the the acts! I am also flexible and change if my mood or body needs something different.
Here is my nourishing acts!
I have created a workout space in our garage to do cross fit 1 day a week. It’s a very small space but it works because I can turn up my music while my daughter sleeps.
I wake up in the morning make my coffee and read an easy fiction book that takes me to another persons life. (right now I am reading Elizabeth Berg Open House)
3 days a week I run with my daughter which allows me to burn off any built up steams. We switch up where we go so I stay motivated!
Before bed I read a book that nourishes my feminine energy, a short yoga sequence and I meditate. These help bring my energy down for bed and feed my mind with positive thoughts before I sleep.
There are moments when your energy is alive and flowing, other times it slows and becomes stagnant. So this last week my energy had become stagnant and I was finally able to identify and listen to what needed to be changed.
For me the stagnation came when I stopped my rituals of yoga, foot massage and meditation. I also stopped feeling alive and creative in my life. These rituals help me honor my needs and keep the good energy flowing.
The steps that helped me rid myself of energy stagnation:
I rearranged my room and created an alter to display mala beads, spiritual statues, and gratitude jar.
I did a sage cleanse of my space.
I reconnected with nature by walking a new trail with my daughter.
I also reconnected with a dear friend who affirms my thoughts and challenges.
I have slowly started to incorporate some rituals in my life that give me a sense of connection and grounding. I need these staples in my life because my attention is being pulled to react to the exterior world that can at times be so crazy. When I allow my reactions to take over I become disconnected from myself.
For me being in nature evokes connection and grounding. So for the last two Sundays my daughter and I head out in the morning to a do a hike. I love this hike spot because its where I hiked when I was pregnant everyday. This ritual of getting up and out of the house in the morning and walking among the trees, feeling the cool air on your face, smelling the damp wetness of the leaves makes me free connected, grounded and alive.
Rituals make me check in with myself and allow me to nourish my soul so I can be a better me in this world. They also invite a sense of comfort and certainty.
This past year of becoming a mother has been filled with challenges. I wasn’t able to breastfeed. I haven’t connected with any other mothers to share the emotional pulls of this new journey. It has also been an isolating path and really put a strain on my intimate relationship with my partner. As I make these statements and release them, I begin to reflect on how they have made me see the strength that resides within the feminine. And what I mean by that is as a woman I am a nurturer, creator, and vibrant being who wants to grow into that strong feminine being.
These experiences have hardened me in some ways and made me become disconnected from my true essence. So, I have committed taking steps that help me tap into that essence.
Self care can take many forms and knowing what helps you slow down and connect is essential to tapping into your true essence.
I take my daughter on a hike close to our home in the woods because when I am surrounded by natures energy my soul gets filled up.
Another practice I have started is a heart opening meditation that takes no more than 3-5 minutes.
Sit in a quite comfortable position
close your eyes and begin to notice your breath
allow your mind to empty of any thoughts
and begin to notice your heart beat
bring your right hand up to your heart
as your hand is placed over your heart
start to visualize on the inhale breath a
white light encircling your heart and warming it up